4:30 am I got a text from an old coworker ARE YOU AWAKE?
No, fuck who is awake at this time? I am not 18 drinking morning shots just to prove I can hang with the boys… and actually hold my liquor (unlike the boys), though later in life that would prove nothing since I am pretty sure if I drank from 8pm-8am now with morning shots I would literally die. I am not going to test this theory because I am not suicidal but it’s a safe bet.
I only read the message because I thought she might be having a crisis, and maybe she was, but starting out with ARE YOU AWAKE just pissed me off to no end. I wasn’t but I am now, and for an hour I tossed and turned thinking to myself Go back to sleep, just go back to sleep. While my dog cuddled up to me and sighed because I was disturbing his slumber. Mike laid there sleeping like a baby, only nothing like a baby; that saying makes no sense, babies have a substantial amount of REM sleep and we adults hardly have any, not to mention the fact that Mike has never once woken up having shit himself, stood up on the bed crying waiting for someone to rescue him. So Mike lay there sleeping like I should have been sleeping and my mind was reeling, back and forth from old memories and anger.
How inconsiderate of her to text me as ass o’clock, but how could she have known I am a light sleeper? Then a memory crept in from college, years ago I had a rather large group of friends that stayed out until the wee hours of the night, every night, forever. Apparently one of those nights a friend of mine named Lance text another friend Nicole who never joined us something random like “Hello” or “I miss you.” At 9:30pm on a school night. The next morning Nicole raised holy hell because she was so pissed off that Lance had the audacity to text her after 9. I remember thinking it was insane and stupid to be that upset about a text that wasn’t that late at night. I laid in the dark haze my eyes created staring out in the darkness, livid that my friend had text me at ass-o’clock I finally realized, we all have boundaries and while I believe anyone in the world would be pissed of over 4am and mildly perturbed about 9:30pm, no one can argue it’s not obnoxious being woken from slumber by ridiculous empty text messages that could have waited until day light.
-ducksoup- 