Zits, pimples, bumps filled with pus… whatever you call them, they are annoying and gross!
My first boyfriend (we will call him Fox cause that is basically his name, it’s just about that stupid), anyway we were close, as close as a 19 year old could be to a 31 year old, but mind you he was seriously immature and I took that as us connecting, if I would have been just a bit older I would have taken it as a sign and left him.
He rode a motorcycle year round, which made his face look warn and tired, his thinning hair sun bleached and his back full of zits. The first time I woke up to see a major pimple on his back I asked him if I could pop it, mainly because I couldn’t look at the thing throbbing trying to explode all over the bed on its own. He was much obliged and somehow we fell into this comfortable area with no holds barred… I will pop yours if you pop mine kind of nonsense. LOVE if you will… Love to get rid of shit that makes your body unappealing.
After about two rocky rocky years together a girl moved in town; Alice was engaged to Fox’s and my mutual “friend”, and soon Fox began hanging out with her, sharing our life with her and I didn’t know how much so until one night after a car got broken into at UofA (where we all lived). The car was demolished, the roof had been bashed in, the inside gutted and BITCH spray painted on the side. While Fox called the nonemergency police to report the crime a zit glistened in the setting sunlight, I didn’t even think about it I just went for it like a monkey mother trying to get all the bugs on her young.
Fox whipped around still on the phone and yelled something to the effect of “Back the fuck off!”
So I did.
He glared at me, like I had shit in his bed or something. He finished the phone call, then he told me never to do that again.
To which I shrugged, fine. I probably won’t touch your back much more but that’s freaking fine.
Two days later I went to a club with Alice, just the two of us… getting away from it all, things were majorly falling apart with her and her fiancé and I couldn’t have been happier cause he was a dick. He cheated on her every day she didn’t live in Tucson and I knew it, I just didn’t know how to tell her. I also didn’t feel like it was my place to say so. I sat in silence listening to her every tiny fight about plates, allergies, cost of living; you name it they fought about it.
As the night began to wind down, and Alice was driving me back to the apartment my boyfriend and I shared, she began to tell me things about my own relationship… as I had not actually opened up to her about any of it. I am not even really sure how the subject came up but she mentioned the engagement ring that Fox had been sitting on for something crazy like eight months (but showing absolutely everyone myself included the baby rock suspended in a moon shaped golden clasp, I hated it). She mentioned that he felt like it wasn’t enough for me that I deserved more, and I listened silently thinking something to the effect of yeah I probably do, but I knew that he was the man I loved so I could deal with a ring I didn’t LOVE (he may have broken that little understanding – loving bit of me, but maybe it is for the best).
Then the conversation took a dark turn, which I wasn’t expecting because I didn’t even know it was dark until it escaped her lips. I won’t even be able to capture the terminology nor her disgust as she allowed the words to trickle off her tongue but it was something to the effect of “Fox told me that you attacked him!!!!!!!!!!!” then quietly she said “and popped a zit on his back out of nowhere?” Which is so utterly stupid, and not really out of nowhere I had been doing it for years, just not in a majorly public setting. I couldn’t help it if the zit was taunting me.
I sat there dumbfounded; I think I didn’t think it was as big a deal as it was until she told me what I had done. I was trying to come up with a million ways to defend myself and then I recognized that I shouldn’t have to (it’s just pus after all), but I was embarrassed beyond belief and she sat in the driver’s seat judging me. I thought to myself You told my secret, and I didn’t even know it was a secret.
For whatever reason, her knowing this information made something click in my mind… maybe because it was such a small insignificant thing that she was reacting to on such a large scale that I realized he and I were falling apart. I tried to hold the relationship together but it was sand slipping through my fingers and it was just as worthless. We broke up within a month and haven’t spoken in over six years, so pimples are good for something!
-ducksoup- 